As parents of young kids, we often find ourselves at the crossroads of introducing race and racism early on. They say, the younger, the better.
Being sensitive about Black, Indigenous, (and) People Of Color BIPOC issues, I, too, wanted to make my child aware. Since we are a minority raising first-gens in the US, it added another shade to the meaning. No pun intended. Even if we were in India, raising culturally sensitive kids had to be on our parental duties. While growing up in India, I remember experiencing rampant “isms” based on caste, gender, and color. Even though I cannot wholly control my children’s environment, I certainly don’t want them to experience it, or worse, propagate it. Making them aware was the only way out.
As I started thinking about it, I realized it wasn’t an easy task. I procrastinated for a long time until this issue manifested on its own. One time after preschool, my son came home saying, “Mom, I am brown!” As my heart jumped in my throat, he quipped, “but it doesn’t matter!” I quickly chipped in, “our skin color doesn’t matter. You are right.” This conversation was just a warning, and if I didn’t come up with a strategy, I would be caught off-guard the next time as well.
Between defining a strategy and understanding the child’s grasp over such concepts, current affairs stirred up the political environment. The recent Black Lives Matter movement made the subject a burning topic. Schools actively organized classes and programs to create more awareness. As an effort toward sensitizing, I decided to take questions from my son.
If the Caucasians brought people from Africa to work as slaves, does that make Caucasians the bad guys?
How can the police be the bad guy?
Answering these questions was troublesome on many levels. From the above questions, it was clear my son’s worldview was binary — good or bad. So making him understand history or current affairs wasn’t helpful. I ended up saying, “only some people make bad choices...not an entire community… REMEMBER THAT. Forget everything else I said,” my tone went very low at the last sentence. But now, as a parent being nonchalant wasn’t an option either.
As my mind actively searched for a solution, I remembered this incident while pursuing my M.A. in Children’s Literature during a class on picture books. I particularly remember being mesmerized by The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats. A child enjoys a snow day, just like any other child would. The difference was in the illustration — portrayed was a black child.
That was the solution, finding books and shows that had a regular, healthy representation of races. This approach may take longer, but it ensures organic growth of the complicated concept of race. For example, Oh Brother, Little Brother, by Candid Brandon, is a book based on siblings’ relationship targeted at young kids as young as 4. The book is about the little brother pulling off stunts while the older brother is trying to help. While we read about the relationship, subconsciously, our mind takes note of the illustration of two black siblings. When we can relate to characters, it takes out the “foreignness” and forms an instant connection. To children from other cultures knowing that black kids have similar experiences as them helps in positive image building of the culture, in this case, African American. Once the kids can relate to the everyday human experiences, the concerned culture automatically normalizes their minds.
So that’s step one, finding picture books to expose children to various cultures. Don’t forget to sit down with a globe to introduce the location.
Eventually, as they get comfortable with characters from other cultures, it’s time to introduce the differences. In my recent book, Morāmbā, the central theme is kids’ dealing with adult authority. While that’s the story outsiders will easily associate with, the book’s cultural references will help with a deep-rooted understanding of middle-class Indian culture.
Slowly and steadily, as children get comfortable with the idea of different cultures, their nuances, and their world view progresses beyond good-bad, they will be ready to absorb more of the intricacies of the actual definition and history of the race. Probably that’s the right time to wait until introducing the real deal! Indeed, it’s not age-based but their grasp over such issues.